My Secret
by doodlelover
Summary: For years Sakura has kept a secret that has been slowly eating away at her. But she still keeps it, because her loved ones' happiness are more important than her own. Twoshot. Warnings: SasuNaruSasu, mentions and one-sided SasuSaku, boyxboy
1. Her Secret

**Okay, first and foremost, this is not meant to bash Sakura in any way. It might seem like it just a little, but I don't hate her at all. So, Sakura haters please don't leave rude comments about her when or if you review. Saying you don't like her is fine, but saying she should die is not alright with me, 'kay? Glad we understand each other ;**

**So, anyway, this is VERY old. I'm in a bought of writers block so I just decided to spruce up one of my old fics and post it instead of creating something that's completely horrible. I kind of like how it turned out now that I can see what was wrong with the old one...**

**Okay warnings, warnings...: boyxboy (not your cup of tea? then please leave.), _onesided _SasuSaku but it is there, and then finally...um, I have no clue. Oh, yeah! Some mild InoSaku also, but it can be seen as friendship.  
**

**Disclaimer: I'm too sick to try and claim them...I'll devise a plan when I don't feel like shit.**

**That said...please enjoy...!**

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**Her Secret**

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Years she had lived with this secret; years she had been lying to the people that had trusted her; years and her heart was slowly breaking and dying, chipping away due to the pain and mental stifle she had endured for the longest time. She couldn't remember the last time she had smiled to him and actually meant it.

But she was happy too--happy that the one that she loved was finally cheerful and somewhat calmer, as she wished he always would be. Smiling and laughing; even if it wasn't her that was making him happy and making him smile in such a way that made her heart ache and her head spin.

She almost remembered the exact time it had happened too--when she became aware of what was really happening beneath everyone's noses. It had started when she was sixteen and she was still naive and dull minded in the affairs of the heart and what true pain really was. Sasuke had finally come back, after much persuasion and blood on Naruto's part, and she was going to visit him in the hospital. She had bought a daffodil that day, just like she always used to.

Her mind was in a typhoon of different thoughts on how her reunion with her love would be. She would sit down next to him, talk a little, and then she would leave and come back again. He would eventually fall in love with her just as much as she did with him, and they would love happily ever after. She still, to this day, sighed with such happy fairytale ending thoughts.

In a slight stupor, she had been horrified at first at the scene that greeted her upon her arrival. She thought it was wrong; sick, disgusting, appalling. No, what was Naruto doing? He was certainly not _riding_ Sasuke--impaling himself over and over on the pale man below him, who was sweaty and out of breath as inconceivable sentences and slivers of the same name slipped from his lips. Naruto was not sticky with what had to be sessions worth of Sasuke's essence, and he did not have his head thrown back in ecstasy as Sasuke's hands guided him over and over again, in and out of the blond.

It wasn't happening--but it was, and she knew she was crying and ruining her makeup she had decided to put on for this happy occasion.

And that's when he heart slowly began to break. When she _knew_ she had to find some way to cover it up--pretend it didn't happen and she hadn't seen anything.

So that was also the day she started lying to the people that she cared about. When someone would ask where her teammates had gone, why they weren't in their respective places, she would lie to them. She would spew lies out until her lips turned black with her untrue words. She didn't know why she did it, but she did, and afterward she would always feel an underlying feeling of satisfaction. It made her silently happy that she was the only one keeping Naruto and Sasuke's secret safe--she was the only one with the power to crush their lives.

But, it wasn't like she would ever use that power. No, that would be wrong and completely going against her morals.

--

Several times Sakura had thought it was finally over; that they had gotten tired of this charade of theirs and got some sense knocked into them. But it never did happen that they would be away from each other for more than a few days, and only when they had missions. Somehow she would always find them together and it would make her heart bleed all over again as her stitched up wounds began to tear.

And again her heart began to shatter.

And again the lies started.

Years passed and she still kept her secret; not wanting the twos unhappiness to stain her hands. Naruto was always smiling and Sasuke always seemed brighter with a sort of glow to him that would be invisible to all who didn't know him well. She knew she was probably the only one who could tell, but mostly just because she was almost _always_ there and aware when her two best friends were together. So, she kept quite like the good friend she was. She wanted them to be happy, even at her expense.

And then finally something happened that made her heart flutter. Sasuke had proposed to herm and her jovial mind accepted thinking the ridiculous thought that he had gotten over Naruto, just like that in favor of being with her.

What a poor, poor stupid girl she was!

The day of their wedding she was dressed in the most beautiful gown anyone had ever seen. White silk with pink lace on the rims. Plain but beautiful; just like her, she thought, and Ino told her when they made it. Almost everyone in the village was attending her wedding, seeing as the Uchiha were still held in high regards by the villagers. The Uchiha clan was going to have their heir and Sakura couldn't have been happier to be wedding her beloved.

That was until her heart began to shatter once again.

Just as she was rounding the corner to be await being walked down the aisle, she saw two figures leaning against the hallway's white wall. Two forms; Sasuke and Naruto, Naruto and Sasuke. She wasn't sure where one began and the other ended. It was slow and tortuous, beautiful and heart wrenching at the same time. Limbs and skin everywhere, embracing tenderly and hotly all at the same time.

Tears soon began to trail down her porcelain cheeks, and she did the only thing that she could; she ran. The bathroom became her haven as she sobbed and chocked down the curses and moans of her stupidity at herself. She didn't care that her painted face was being ruined, or that Ino was asking her question after question of what happened. The wedding was delayed, but not cancelled. She went through with it, and still, she kept her secret.

Again, her heart started to break. What was left was slowly decaying with the remains.

--

Two years passed and she now had a child and was pregnant again. Two Uchiha heirs. They were the only thing that kept her going. Them and her best friend--Ino.

And every night her husband would go out. Every day he would come back reluctant, like he had an obligation. And every night her heart would break.

She had had two kids for him, she had kept his secret, but not once had he ever smiled at her. Not once would he ever look her in the eye with the same tenderness he showed his _lover. _

And only one person kept her living, the one that also silently stood by and watched her rot as the years passed.

Ino.

And even though she knows she is killing the one that loves her, she keeps the secret that's slowly killing her. It's not hers to tell, and it never would be. Sasuke's heart had never belonged to her, but the same didn't apply to her. She gave her heart away carelessly to one that would never cherish it and care for it the way that it was supposed to. So, it was left to burn.

But her secret was kept.

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**-coughs and sneezes- Well, I think I'll just go now...and remember that this is a twoshot so Naruto's POV is next and that's where the M rating comes in.**

**Please remember to review! -smiles-**


	2. His Secret

**Okay, it's been a week, so here's the second part of...um, this thing. My mind is a little muddled right now so I'll just go into the warnings now...**

**Warnings: malexmale not your thing? Then why the hell are you here?**

**Not nearly as good as some of the other things I've written...but it is also quite a few months old. I promise I'll make up for it with the new fic I'm writing ;D**

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**His Secret**

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He knew it was wrong; oh so very wrong to be having an affair with a married man. And with his best friend, no less.

But it was also so right. So very right in the wrong kind of way.

The touches; caresses and feelings. It made him drown in the ecstasy of the moment by just feeling those gliding hands move across his body. And Sasuke knew how to make him accept it every time, even when he was feeling it was _wrong_. But sometimes that wrong feeling just made it that much better. He wouldn't resist it, per se, but he would always deny that it made him feel complete to have Sasuke inside of him, or sometimes to be inside of Sasuke. He would say that it didn't matter to him either which way...that he was doing it for Sasuke and his best friend's sanity, but in reality...

He craved it.

A rough hand would run through his golden hair; maybe even give it a playful tug just to liven things up a little. It would run across his body like silk and rub against all the right places. It would go lower. And lower. And then stop. It would stop and make him want it even more. A silky voice would always ask him--It would make him plead for it. _Beg _for it. It was too late anyways, no room for arguments with something like this, so he gave in at that point.

The teasing wouldn't stop there though. Oh no. It would continue until he couldn't take it anymore. Until he broke and practically screamed for it. He knew that was what Sasuke wanted all along. He loved to hear him scream his name. And that annoying smirk after he screamed made him all the more irked that he gave in so easily. But it was forgotten, put into the far part of his mind as Sasuke would continue, as he always did.

That was when all thought would stop; when he was so lost to the feelings and emotions that he forgot the world and everything around them. When it was nothing but them and only them. No one else.

Moments like those were the only thing that brought him happiness. Because the morning after was always the worst. He was at the stage where he couldn't even look his two best friends in the eye anymore. He was too ashamed. He would see them together, walking down the street, and then he would turn and walk the other way. He wasn't good enough to be a part of their life anymore.

But, of course, Sasuke would see him and then chase after him. Sakura always did believe his excuses, thinking that her husband could do no wrong to her, perhaps. But then he would see Sakura sometimes, and she would give him the most unbearable eyes that he had ever seen. Seeing her like that always gave him a nagging feeling in the pit of his stomach that maybe she knew--maybe she knew what him and Sasuke did with each other.

When Sasuke chased after him he would run. Run as far away as he could. Sasuke was Sakura's; not his. Sasuke would never be his and never was. It just wasn't right to think of Sasuke as his with everything he had done to Sakura.

When Sasuke would catch up to him (the bastard), Sasuke would hold him. Sasuke would clutch on tightly to him like he was his only lifeline and never want to let go. He knew he wanted to be with Sasuke so badly but he never could be. Life was too cruel for that.

At some point they found out that maybe Sakura did have some clue to what they were doing. That had made him and Sasuke rigid, thinking that she would do something and make them be separated. But she never did, so they continued.

The fabric of Sasuke's shirt; that strong musky smell; those coal eyes were enough to have him saying 'yes' all over again. He wanted it. He needed it. And he loved it. Society couldn't take them away from each other. No one could. Only if Sakura had said to stop. He knows he would if she asked him. But she never did. He would see her and then look away. They would say a greeting and then stay silent.

He would wait at his house. Sasuke would come. And then it started all over again. Sometimes nothing would happen at all. They would just sit and stare in silence. Other times he or Sasuke would cry. That's what usually happened on dark and dreary nights that it rained. They would make no sound and the only noise filling the room would be the onslaught of drops hitting the roof. Silent tears were always the worst kind. And those same hands that made him always feel so wrong made him feel warm and hopeful as he hugged that warmth closer.

The best nights would go by too fast, like the world had stopped for only the briefest of seconds and then it would speed up again. Those were the nights that he wished could last forever. There was no pain. There was no regret. Only Sasuke. Sasuke and him.

But like all good things, it had to come to an end. The world would start to move again and so would his life. It was always the hardest in the morning. Watching him leave and not being able to stop him. It was like he was gone all over again. But instead of Orochimaru, it was Sakura. And this time he really couldn't do anything about it, or find it in him to hate the person taking Sasuke away from him.

He would watch. Watch as they got older and grew farther apart. Still, the same thing would happen every night. And they held almost no regrets. Sasuke would be there. There with him. And nothing else mattered.

Not Sakura.

Not the village.

Or the fact that they would never be able to feel this way with anyone else.

It just didn't matter anymore.

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**Not nearly as good as some of the other things I've written...but it is also quite a few months old. I promise I'll make up for it with the new fic I'm writing ;D**

**I thrive off of writing, but reviews are a really nice snack for me to indulge in!**


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